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Why men cheat on the women they love

“It is in a man’s DNA to cheat”

Well if you are from the school of thought that believes in such statements then it’s time you got to know that you are probably the reason why your man will cheat on you. Now my article on cheating spouses has nothing to do with the Sonko/Shebesh saga that is the current talk of town but at some point I might draw some reference to it.

This article was rather inspired by the morning discussions on K24 where for a few days now they have been talking about relationships and a conversation I had last Friday with my Supermodel friend Ingred Awuor of Blackdust Modeling management.

In one of the TV shows somebody said that 99.9 % of men cheat or have cheated on their partners at some point. I do not in any way challenge that statistic neither do I want to play the relationships expert which I am not but I want to rather give ladies (yeah ladies) a peep into a guy’s mind by letting through my own experiences.

Have I ever cheated?

……most of us guys have. So why do we cheat?
Well, a man’s body works in a very funny way. We are attracted to the things we see that’s why it’s not strange to see men acting funny when a lady dressed in something sexy passes by. Then our overactive imagination checks in and we start figuring out how they probably look without clothes on…it’s very detailed, every inch and curve in that anatomy is imagined. If it’s somebody we don’t know we’ll let it go…but if it’s somebody we know we will most definitely make a move some day.

But that is not all. I would say our women are the reason why we cheat.

No? Let me tell you how;

The first time we met in a club or somewhere in the hood you had that sexy dress on and for every single party we went to after that you were always dressed to impress me. Then for some reason after eating the candy and probably wifing you you stopped dressing to impress me.

What do I have today?

You go to bed wearing a rag on your head, a “sing’enge ni ng’ombe” T-Shirt and jeans trousers!! How on earth is that supposed to turn me on? And when I struggle to get turned on and undress you, you won’t remove that silly rag from your head because you dont’t want to spoil your hair…(and it’s a weave not your real hair).

So what happens we have all that lousy sex with that horrible excuse of a head gear on your head. Tell me what is sexy with that? In fact the only reason I seemed to be enjoying hitting that thing is because I was having an imaginary session with the sexy lady from the next office.

Did I say anywhere that sex is always missionary style?

What happened to the adventurous woman I once know who would try every position my mind could think of that I’d be forgiven for thinking she had no bones? Today we have a time-table for sex, it’s nolonger spontaneous like it used to be (and very rare). Most of the time i do my thing in the bathroom!

Did I hear somebody mention a blow job?

Keep dreaming, one kid down the road blow jobs have become unfathomable sin! You are not even supposed to think about it lest you land at your pastor’s office. You don’t get to eat that pussy anymore…in fact sex is not for pleasure anymore – it’s for procreation! So how long will I survive this?

It is not just about sexy dresses, sex positions and oral sex…no!

We don’t play with each other anymore. No flirting just because we now have a two year old kid in the house.  Touching you suggestively will earn me a slap if not some serious scolding.

You are always too tired from work and when you come home you even carry your office with you. Men are playful beings – we love to play and we love sex. Not just any kind of sex but good sex.

I want my wife to flirt with me during the day sending me suggestive texts while I am at work, wink at me from the kitchen window while she is doing the dishes. Lie on my laps while we are watching Jicho Pevu on TV. Flirt with me just before we go to bed.

While in the bedroom change into something even more sexy and more revealing…fulfill all my fantasies in bed and trust me when I see the most sexy lady in the world pass by I will appreciate her beauty but deep inside I will say she’s got nothing on my wife and I will long for my wife every single day of my life.

When you are not doing all that some lady is busy winking at me in the club those days I come home late coz the house has become your other office. She dresses nicely everyday just to impress me. When we get to the exchanging numbers she flirts with me on phone (and that is when I introduce a password to my phone).

This lady tags me on her sexy photos on facebook and twitter. Then we get to the hotel room stage and I tell you we make movies in bed (ofcos without cameras). She is adventurous and evry day she got something new she wants to try out. I know what I am doing is wrong but I am having fun.

I will always come back home to you and pay the kids school fees and give you your allowances but the physical attraction is gone. We begin to live more like housemates. Eventually you notice and you figure out everything and you tell everyone how I betrayed you.

“What is it that I dint give you?” Is a question you will always ask. You will blame everyone apart from yourself not knowing you brought all this on yourself.

What do men want?

We want a wife at home and a slut in the bedroom. If we can’t find it under one roof we will get the wife bit from home and go shopping for the slut elsewhere!!

Why ladies cheat on the men they love coming soon!! Click here to read about “Secrets to dating older women.”

                                            Follow me on Twitter @IamOminde
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  • Sandra Nyamu Reply

    October 11, 2013 at 6:13 am

    Somewhere in there as all this is happening and the man's interest in his wife is beginning to wane, shouldn't they try to communicate? He says that he is not getting what he wants from the marriage and feels deprived ans she gives whatever reason she has for bringing work home and wearing ugly pyjamas? Couldn't the infidelity route be avoided wholly by two people communicating and agreeing on a proper compromise that will serve both of them?

  • Daniel Ominde Reply

    October 11, 2013 at 6:51 am

    Hi Sandra, I like the way you are thinking. You are already seeing a solution out of all this and I agree with you. In relationships you can always solve all issues if you effectively communicate with each other and meet some level of compromises. My intention with this post however was just to lay it bare and tell what happens like it happens. Maybe after I explore why women cheat then some day I will write about how to remedy all these – maybe put in a little of your input as well 🙂 … enjoy your day and keep reading.

  • Jael Lieta Reply

    October 11, 2013 at 7:12 am

    I always find this school of thought interesting.Mostly when a man cheats its always beacuse of what the wife/girlfriend did or not do.Men cheat,provoked or not,you dress sexy or not,you give all the `out of this world` sex positions or not,cook or not cook and the list goes on.
    I believe cheating is a choice one makes with such above excuses.

  • Daniel Ominde Reply

    October 11, 2013 at 7:41 am

    Trust me Jael on this one…that is exactly how a man's brain operates. If I get everything I need from you I won't think about the other women out there!!

  • Kenianisch Reply

    October 14, 2013 at 8:45 am

    A man once told me that even the most perfect woman can only give 70% of what a man wants.. He was justifying polygamy…. Men cheat, whether ur the perfect wife or not, whether u make an effort or not… It's deeply ingrained in them, any woman who thinks otherwise is just lying to herself. All men cheat.


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